Rate my four jokes! (20 characters)?

1) Three men are on vacation in Egypt. Curiously, they enter a tent with a sign that says "Do not enter". Inside, is 100 beautiful women. But as they are about to "enjoy" there lucky find, a bearded man with two guards enter the tent and begin accusing them of "breaking and entering". As punishment, the bearded man asks the first man, "What do you do for a living?". The man replies "A police man". Soon after, they guards shoot of his penis. Then the bearded man approaches the second man and asks the same question. "A firefighter" the man replies. Right after, they burn off his penis. Finally, the bearded man asks the question to the third man. Nervously he say’s, "A massage therapist".

2) Three men are at church for committing crimes. They confess to the priest one at a time. The first man says, "Father, i have sinned, for i have burned down a house". The priest says "You are forgiven, and you may now drink the holy water". The man drinks the water and walks away with a awkward feeling in his stomach. The second man says, "Father, I have sinned, for I have killed someone". The priest says "You are forgiven, and you may now drink the holy water". The man drinks the water and walks away with a disgusting feeling inside. Finally, the third man walks in and says "Father, I have sinned, for I peed in the holy water".

3)A red-head, brunette, and a blonde are stranded on a island. They luckily find a lamp and rub it. The genie will grant them each one wish. The red-head goes "I wish to be with my family and friends". She magically teleports home. The brunette wishes the same. The blonde wishes "I’m lonely, i wish my friends were back here."

4) A counselor is in a room with three moms. Each are obsessed with something and name there child after it. The counselor tells the first mom "You are obsessed with money, and named your daughter Penny. Then the counselor goes to the second mom and says "You are obsessed with alcohol and named your son Tequila." After hearing enough, the last mom goes "Let’s go Dick, I’ve had enough of this".


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Math probability questions!?

What is the difference between these two questions:
1.What is the probability of drawing a spade of a king from a deck of cards?
2. If a coin is flipped and one die is thrown, what is the probability of getting a head or a 4?

In the first question, I used the formula P(A) + P(B) – P(A intersect B) = P(A union B)
so (13/52) + (4/52) – (1/52)

Why can’t I use the same method for number 2?
(1/2) + (1/6) – 0
The correct answer is supposed to be 7/12

How do you do this question:
A hotel has five single rooms available, for which sex men and three women apply. What is the probability that the rooms will be tented to three men and two women?


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Jehovah Witnesses, if there is no Trinity then why was the Jehovah 3 Persons at Abraham's Tent?

(NWT) Genesis 18:1 Afterward Jehovah appeared to him among the big trees of Mam´re, while he was sitting at the entrance of the tent about the heat of the day. 2 When he raised his eyes, then he looked and there three men were standing some distance from him. When he caught sight of them he began running to meet them from the entrance of the tent and proceeded to bow down to the earth. 3 Then he said: “Jehovah, if, now, I have found favor in your eyes, please do not pass by your servant.

It could not be clearer that God is 3 in one, a Trinity.
@Rivky…..Jw’s call God Jehovah…..I used their bible so couldnt say there was a mis-translation..

And sorry, but Genesis is part of the Hebrew Bible. look up Genesis 1:26

Who is "Us" if there is One God and No Trinity?

Gen 1:26 Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the [fn] sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth."
@Kilroy J……No, it’s very clear he starts out talking to God and then bows down, again talking to God.

Let’s see…..Afterward Jehovah appeared to him –When he raised his eyes, then he looked and there three men were standing some distance from him — he began running to meet them — proceeded to bow down — Then he said: “Jehovah, if, now, I have found favor in your eyes, please do not pass by your servant.

Nope dont see "messenger" in there….
@grnlow…… There were only 2 Angels not 3.

(NWT) Genesis 19:1 Now the two angels arrived at Sod´om by evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sod´om. When Lot caught sight of them, then he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the earth.

Here it says "They" and then "He" as they are all one person! Plural to Singular but the same person speaking.

Gen 18:9 They now said to him: “Where is Sarah your wife?” To this he said: “Here in the tent!” 10 So he continued: “I am surely going to return to you next year at this time, and, look! Sarah your wife will have a son.” Now Sarah was listening at the tent entrance, and it was behind the man.

Reading more into Gen 18:13 Then Jehovah said to Abraham: “Why was it that Sarah laughed, saying, ‘Shall I really and truly give birth although I have become old?’
@Escape…..Its from your bible so take it up with the Watchtower!

And YOU ARE A LOSER, you email me trash and block me so I can not respond? Shows you have no truth in your faith!
@Mr. Immortel….. I have read it. I find it funny how you think I wouldnt have. I find it funnier how you and the others try to through non related scripture at it so nonchalantly to try and reduce it’s importance.

Very JW of you.


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Jehovah Witnesses, if there is no Trinity then why was "Jehovah" 3 Persons at Abraham's Tent?

(NWT) Genesis 18:1 Afterward Jehovah appeared to him among the big trees of Mam´re, while he was sitting at the entrance of the tent about the heat of the day. 2 When he raised his eyes, then he looked and there three men were standing some distance from him. When he caught sight of them he began running to meet them from the entrance of the tent and proceeded to bow down to the earth. 3 Then he said: “Jehovah, if, now, I have found favor in your eyes, please do not pass by your servant.

It could not be clearer that God is 3 in one, a Trinity.

And No it is not the "2" Angels that went to Sodom.

JW’s If you post your answer post your "RELATED" scripture and not your typical scripture dance that has nothing to do with anything
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@Godboy……Simple Mathematics. Maybe you should read the entire passage?
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@JennyM…….Please show me where the "Two" let" phrase is?

Genesis 18:29 But yet again he spoke further to him and said: “Suppose forty are found there.” In turn he said: “I shall not do it on account of the forty.” 30 But he continued: “May Jehovah, please, not grow hot with anger, but let me go on speaking: Suppose thirty are found there.” In turn he said: “I shall not do it if I find thirty there.” 31 But he continued on: “Please, here I have taken upon myself to speak to Jehovah: Suppose twenty are found there.” In turn he said: “I shall not bring it to ruin on account of the twenty.” 32 Finally he said: “May Jehovah, please, not grow hot with anger, but let me speak just this once: Suppose ten are found there.” In turn he said: “I shall not bring it to ruin on account of the ten.” 33 Then Jehovah went his way when he had finished speaking to Abraham, and Abraham returned to his place.
TYPO — "Two Left" phrase
@Godboy…….God says "I" will go down there.

21 I am quite determined to go down that I may see whether they act altogether according to the outcry over it that has come to me, and, if not, I can get to know it.”
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Hmmm…. in relation to 18:1- Jesus tells us it was him, God.

(NWT) John 8:56 Abraham YOUR father rejoiced greatly in the prospect of seeing my day, and he saw it and rejoiced.” 57 Therefore the Jews said to him: “You are not yet fifty years old, and still you have seen Abraham?” 58 Jesus said to them: “Most truly I say to YOU, Before Abraham came into existence, I have been.”


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Can Genisis 18:1&2 prove the trinity ?

Gen 18:1-2
1 The LORD appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day.
2 Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground.

At first, this verses seems to be a valid reference to the trinity. There seems to be a connection between The LORD and the three men, the men representing the appearance of God.

However, as the story unfolds, the real nature of the men is revealed. As the men are about to leave for Sodom, one of them stays behind with Abraham, as read in verse 22:
22 The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the LORD.
Masoretic Text; an ancient Hebrew scribal tradition, "but the LORD remained standing before Abraham."

Up to this point in the story, we have the following scenario: Three men came to visit, two of them left for Sodom, and one remains with Abraham. Abraham goes on to request mercy from the man that stayed behind. Verse 19:1 goes on reveal the true nature of the men:

1 The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground.

In this verse, 34 verses after Gen 18:1, the real nature of the men revealed. The men were angels. God appeared to Abraham through three angels. The concept of God appearing or talking to people through angels is not a rarity in the Old Testament. It happens in quite a different number of places.

To conclude, it is obvious that the three men in 18:1 were angels, leaving behind any possibility that the men who appeared to Abraham were the three persons of the trinity.

How can Gen 18:1&2 prove the trinity ?


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    Jehovah witnesses can God assume the body of a man, does God have hands and feet?

    Accoridnig to the NWT

    God has fingers:

    Exodus 31: 18

    Now as soon as he had finished speaking with him on Mount Si´nai he proceeded to give Moses two tablets of the Testimony, tablets of stone written on by God’s finger.

    God has palms:

    And it has to occur that while my glory is passing by I must place you in a hole in the rock, and I must put my palm over you as a screen until I have passed by. 23 After that I must take my palm away, and you will indeed see my back. But my face may not be seen

    God has feet, which Abraham offered to wash:

    Genesis 18: 1

    "Afterward Jehovah appeared to him among the big trees of Mam´re, while he was sitting at the entrance of the tent about the heat of the day"

    This clearly says that God appeared to him, therefore it is God who appeared to him….

    18:2

    "When he raised his eyes, then he looked and there three men were standing some distance from him. When he caught sight of them he began running to meet them from the entrance of the tent and proceeded to bow down to the earth"

    If these are men are merely angels, then why does Abraham bow down infornt of them

    isn’t this angel worship?

    18:3-5

    Then he said: “Jehovah, if, now, I have found favor in your eyes, please do not pass by your servant. 4 Let a little water be taken, please, and YOU must have YOUR feet washed. Then recline under the tree. 5 And let me get a piece of bread, and refresh YOUR hearts. Following that, YOU can pass on, because that is why YOU have passed this way to YOUR servant.” At this they said: “All right. You may do just as you have spoken

    He offers to wash Jehovah’s feet, and to give him food

    if he is not offering to do this to Jehovah, then he is blaspheming and calling mere angels Jehovah, why is he not rebuked for this?

    i see we dont have a problem with Jehovah turnnig himself into a man or 3 of them as it may seem to speak to Abraham

    however we get an extreme reactino on the possibility of God turning himself into a man called Jesus

    which is more impossible

    God turning himself into a man to speak to Abraham
    or God turnnig himself into a man whose name is Yeshua:

    God the saviour, or as you prefer

    Jesus= I cause salvation to become

    If king David calls God the saviour
    and Jeuss= I causle salvation to beocme
    then Jesus is…

    1. ok lets try to focus on Abraham why does he call those men Jehovah, this is blasphemy

    2. God told moses he has fingers and palms

    3.Abraham offers to wash God’s feet, and feed him, he calls angels Jehovah and is not rebuked

    why??????

    Answers to those 3 questions please
    Chuck:

    You have left the watchtower, but you have not left their beleifs…..

    why was it so important of them to convince you that Jesus was not god?

    now that you are no longer a JW, why are you still convinced?

    Did Jesus not say he who has seen me has seen the Father?
    Trustdel:

    can youy feed god?

    Why does Abraham offer to feed JEHOVAH?

    O JEHOVAH…..LET me wash your feet

    he ios offering to wash God’s feet

    GOd maniofested himself as a man to Abraham

    so why can he not do it to Jesus

    seeing jesus=yeshia=GOd the saviour

    it’s even more obvious now isn’t it
    trustedel

    Angel Gabriel forbids John bowing down before him, in fact he rebukes him for doing so

    what does that tell you?
    No man may see his face and live,

    but that did not stop moses, Abraham and etc seeing the rest of him

    such as his hands and feet,

    f God manifested himself in a body as he did befroe moses and abraham then why is not possible for him to manifest himself as Jesus?

    Cheers, i knew you would understand


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    Who are the 3 holy man that abraham saw in his tent in genesis 18:1-8?

    Genesis 18:1-8
    1 AND the LORD appeared unto him in the plains of Mamre: and he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day;
    2 And he lift up his eyes and looked, and, lo, three men stood by him: and when he saw them, he ran to meet them from the tent door, and bowed himself toward the ground,
    3 And said, My Lord, if now I have found favour in thy sight, pass not away, I pray thee, from thy servant:
    4 Let a little water, I pray you, be fetched, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree:
    5 And I will fetch a morsel of bread, and comfort ye your hearts; after that ye shall pass on: for therefore are ye come to your servant. And they said, So do, as thou hast said.
    6 And Abraham hastened into the tent unto Sarah, and said, Make ready quickly three measures of fine meal, knead it, and make cakes upon the hearth.
    7 And Abraham ran unto the herd, and fetcht a calf tender and good, and gave it unto a young man; and he hasted to dress it.
    8 And he took butter, and milk, and the calf which he had dressed, and set it before them; and he stood by them under the tree, and they did eat.
    How does it relates to John 8:56-59?

    John 8:56-59
    56 Your father Abraham rejoiced to see my day: and he saw it, and was glad.
    57 Then said the Jews unto him, Thou art not yet fifty years old, and hast thou seen Abraham?
    58 Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Before Abraham was, I am.
    59 Then took they up stones to cast at him: but Jesus hid himself, and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by.